A friend for Jack & a listening, sovereign God.

Jackson has something to say!!

We’re pregnant with baby #2!!

So let me start from the beginning…

When Kevin and I started discussing family plans, we decided to make a decision once my cycle started back up again from nursing. My supply went down when Jackson was 4 months, and then unfortunately was empty at 8. All that time I waited and waited for my period. It never came. (Awesome, right?!) Kevin wanted another baby ASAP, I at least wanted Jack to be walking. But before we even had the chance to compromise, God decided for us! I found out I was pregnant in May!

I was surprised and apprehensive at first… (how was I going to do this with a nearly 9-month-old!?) but then my apprehension turned into joy! I couldn’t wait to meet this baby and I imagined all the fun Jackson would have growing up with a sibling only 16 months behind him! We had an ultrasound to see when my due date would be and discovered that on January 21st, 2014 that tiny little blob with a beating heart would enter our world!

Having had a miscarriage in 2011, we were slow to tell people, even family. Because of that sensitivity, we wanted to wait til my first OB appointment at 11 weeks. But I couldn’t very easily fool my friends by sneaking Sprite into my champagne glass at Steph’s wedding or by ordering a coke and vodka (hold the vodka) at the bachelorette party. I eventually caved and told some close friends who committed to praying for us.

Thankfully they were, because at 9 weeks I started having some bleeding. It was heavy and red at first, and I knew I was having a miscarriage. All the signs were there. I laid down and cried, asking friends to pray, and praying to God that he would stop the bleeding. I knew that prayer and God’s sovereignty were somehow intermingled, but I had never personally experienced¬† God changing his direction of an event in response to my prayer. But I prayed anyway. I knew God was powerful enough to stop me from having a miscarriage. Hours later, the bleeding stopped. Did God have mercy on me? Did he respond to my prayers?

I continued having light spotting, nothing that my doctor was worried about, but enough to keep me praying….

And then yesterday at 11 weeks, we went to the doctor. She put the monitor on me and immediately we heard a fast, beautiful heartbeat. It was such a sweet sound. All I can do is praise the God who saves. He saved our baby from death thus far, and he answered my prayer. I don’t know what his initial plan was, if it was miscarriage or not, but I do know that God loves me and he chose to give us a great gift! I am so excited.

And so is Jackson!

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It’s a…

…Boy! Today we got to spend some time with Baby Jackson! It was nice not calling him “it” anymore…or guessing and calling him “Norah.” It took a while for the ultrasound tech to get him in the right position, but it was pretty clear once she did! Right now (19.5 weeks), he is about the size of a cantaloupe– about 10oz and 61/2 inches long. We are so excited. Kevin is the ultimate boy scout/athlete/learner so I think he will be great at teaching little Jack how to do stuff! I, on the other hand, have a lot to learn about boys…especially when it comes to raising them into men! What a crazy thought! I just hope that we will have a lot of fun together and that he will like to snuggle.

I already fear how to keep him from the sin of this world as he grows up. I fear pushing him away from me or the Lord. I fear being overbearing or “annoying.” I already long that he would grow to deeply know and treasure his Savior– that he would be humble and compassionate, but also a strong and wise leader. The calling to be a parent is so heavy– what a gift to steward! I am thankful that Jesus is the great shepherd. He will lead me as I raise my children, and also lead my children to the Father. I am glad that God does not leave Kevin and I alone in this!

This weekend, we will be moving to our new apartment. I have been daydreaming of nursery colors and the whole new stage of life that will happen there. On May 6th, my friend Lauren is throwing me a baby shower. I can’t believe that I have friends in Louisville that will come, let alone organize one! God is good to me and he truly answered many prayers for friendship. But right now, I think I will go register for BOY stuff and celebrate with my friend Darlene, over some BW3s (my craving for it never really ceases).

Here are some more US pics…for the grandmas mostly!

17 weeks

Today this little guy or girl is 17 weeks old! Being 5 inches long from head to butt (hehe!), BabyCenter says they are the size of a turnip! I am nearing the end of my 4th month right now, so here are some cool developments that have taken place:

  • There has been an increase in amniotic fluid, so my baby likes to move and swim around with lots of space! They say I should be able to feel it moving around, but I can’t really tell what is Baby and what is just gas!
  • He or she can pee, swallow, suck its thumb, and flail its arms and legs around!
  • Fingernails, toenails, eyebrows, and eyelashes are growing!
  • Most of his skeleton has changed from rubbery cartilage to hardened bone.
  • Sensory is developing and he or she can taste and hear!

 

Obviously I am changing too! Over the last 2 weeks, my belly has gotten significantly bigger! I had to buy a “belly band” to hold up my unbuttoned jeans. Nausea has almost completely subsided, and I am feeling really good! I am craving buffalo chicken and sugary juices, like orange soda and fruit punch. Cutting back on diet coke has been easy- I DO NOT crave that! Weird, huh? I have been walking about 30 minutes or more a day, and because of that, I am right in middle of my weight range for this month–I only gained 5 lbs at my last appointment a week and a half ago! I constantly worry if the baby is OK and if I am eating the right things. I often fear not seeing the baby move at my next appointment on the 23rd. But God is good, and reminding me that He is in control of my baby’s life and development!

 

At the end of this month, we will be moving into our new apartment! It has 2 bedrooms, a washer & dryer, and I can paint the walls! I am excited to spend the summer working on a little nursery! I hear there are a lot of other young, seminary mommies here, and I hope to build some relationships with them!

 

 

All of these gifts come from God. He is the perfect gift-giver.

Happy Easter and happy new life, everyone!

thanks caroline!

A few weeks ago, I prayed for a vacation. I was really dragging from early mornings at Starbucks and first trimester nausea. All I wanted to do was lay out on the beach! Two days later, Caroline called me and invited me to her condo in Siesta Key, Florida! It was SO relaxing and NICE to be in the sun and spend good time with some favorite friends who I have been missing recently.

 

Thank you God and Caroline Millard.


Love,

Jen & “JacksonNorah”/the baby.

 

 

 

 

a miracle child from the Lord

Kevin and I are pregnant…AGAIN!

Kevin bought me this at the Sojourn affordable art show this past August when we started praying about starting a family. I often pray over this little onesie that hides inside a bag up in my closet.

 

We are so happy to announce the Lord’s faithfulness to us and the expectant arrival of our baby, due mid-September! Most of our family and friends have been shocked that we got pregnant again so soon…nearly a week after our first sweet one miscarried. It was truly a miracle of God. As I struggled though mourning the miscarriage, I really was fighting to see God’s faithfulness in my life. I was fervently searching the scriptures, books on God’s sovereignty, and theology on infant death, yet nothing gave me the peace or the answers I needed. I was challenged when my friend Allison really probed, “what would it take for you to believe that God is faithful and good to you?” My response was much like the Israelites in the desert. I wanted Him to prove Himself to me by giving me another child. My sinful, yet honest, heart needed a sign from the Lord, instead of trusting His word. I was immediately convicted.

 

Yet God did not leave me in my sin. He responded in grace. In fact, He did more than respond, He PROVED HIMSELF. Two days later, after my cycle had still not started up since the miscarriage, I took a pregnancy test. It was positive. I fell to my face in fear and gratitude, in awe of the one from who the miracle came.

And so since the beginning of January I have been waiting. Waiting to go to the doctor, waiting for confirmation, and waiting on the Lord’s will. I do not know His plan for this child in my womb, but thanks to the sign that pointed me back to Him, I will know He is good and I know He is faithful.

 

Today was a good day. I heard the fast, beautiful heartbeat. That sound was such a gift. Please keep Kevin and I in your prayers as we near the end of my first trimester, and throughout the pregnancy. Specifically we pray that we will get to hold this child in our arms and shepherd Him or Her to know the Lord.